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Living hard moments

It’s painful to live your hard moments while you know it. I always felt I had a good share of those. In every chapter of my life, I wish to close my eyes and skip years from it. The more I think about it, the more I want that skipping to happen. The older I get, the more times I want to skip. At what age will I want to skip it all? Am I waiting for that too-late moment? Assuming my fate will be going in the same direction as it’s been always going.. with no changes, then that decision is the only thing I see coming. and accordingly, a set of harmful decisions will go next to that -enough said.  Every time I reach some point in my judgment, I stop and say it’s  “over thinking.”  just trying to be honest with myself about whether I think it’s over thinking just because I’m reluctant and not ready to face what it really is.
The truth is, I don’t have options or directions to take once I reach those results. It’s all bad I guess. How can we live when we don’t want to? time goes on as we talk, and all I feel of my life being “consumed” as tortuous as it is.  Do I really want to close my eyes forever to skip all that happens?  am I seeing it right? Or am I not brave enough yet?
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One response

  1. been speechless, and always will be. it’s hard to live, even to type what I wrote crying.
    man what happened … where do I see myself in some years, if I see myself at all.
    I feel the whole world tries to kill me. I hate words, they never change shit.

    i wanna sleep and look pretty. i want to be in shape and do what I like. ……….. fuk life as it is….. ready to lose it

    January 31, 2012 at 11:14

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