where we write it

my birthday tonight + new year

special stuff supposedly ?  but nothing happens

tonight im 21, tomorrow i’m older.

i’m not sure what I’ve developed/improved about myself in the last years.

i feel i’ve not changed from highschool. i’ve gone no where

i … want to do stuff, and need to do stuff.  yet wont do any:

want to/need to

**** ***** – *** **  – ***** learn – search – piano – gym – ***** ***- soccer – ***** – mybe talk to some1 – idk – get ***** ****** – buy a * – run – ****; i’ve not ****ed for … 8 months. i’m not ****, i cant be.  ***********************

2 things one should realize: 1: how we’re the superior beings on earth, animals/plants aint shit compared to humans. 2: grateful, fearful, thanksful, inferior.. I realize what i am, and what may happen to me any instant.  arrogant should never be my attidude.

all i feel is emptyness that i duwanna fill.  lonelyness, keep it that way. hanging but duwanna go anywhere.

i feel 7zn, sad, no energy…  so much like swollowing my prescription pills and rot my brain.  cuz ther aint shit coming from this world.  what does really matter/   what until the end of life.  that will be the end of my life, which wont change shit. wont change nothing.  life goes on,  souls go souls come from the sky.  am i really a bad person…   i’ freaking need an explanation; i’m freaking living in pain on this earth. i’m not f-king anyone, i’m not hurting anyone, i didn’t do a shitbad shit to anyone.  i need an explaination.  my actions don’t represnt my intentions…  whatever inside, nothing out.  delusion, unwanted man. i’m not kid no more. but still unwanted.  what type of person thinks like that?  loser, uneducated, overthinking stupid, i might be not a lost soul, not a shit or anything i think i am.

goddess words… sounds something i’m intersted to listen to more than listening to anyone.  but… i want it to answer me, my questions, things i need explianed. i’m lost already.


One response

  1. Nasvn


    Always hated time, especially when I have to deal with it. Especially when I have ..etc..etc ans shit like that.. I just duwanna kill myself; I want to do something I like.
    why take my life doing something I hate ? this my life yolo


    March 27, 2012 at 11:54

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