where we write it

Logic of Love.

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Disrupted, I need a clear view, there are 1000 others, but only 1 me.

There’s a lot to worry about.  There’s a lot to feel.
Seeking an inevitable value to achieve.
No matter how I stretch my dreams to touch what I think is desired, I come to see that it’s
undesired from the other side.
It’s a simple complexity, concepts are:
– Known
– Unknown
– Predictable
– Unpredictable
+the fact that each one of those four needs to be one of those four to itself:  e.g.  is it known to be unknown?  or predictable to be unpredictable ? ..etc
That crap loops in humans’ minds to let them wonder and ask forever;   if they started to count, then they would do that forever.
You love your subjective opinion because you love it.  I know I can’t support or oppose it, but I still want to know it.  That’s because I’m interested in filling one more information about something I don’t know,  which is you.
That logic makes me lonely, and in need of friends… just like a lost scientist searching for missing data to complete his research.
I just like you for a subjective reason.  Then I want to look at you. This time,
I’ll understand you,  and live your dream; I’ll make your assumptions, I’ll accept your existence.  Closer than ever, and it feels much better than being alone.
You’re every color I like. I wouldn’t cover any wounds you dealt;  because for a subjective reason,  I like them.  I wouldn’t take any time you ended:  it was well spent.
We also like change, always to the better.  Knowing we can only change ourselves, and change the meaning of ‘better.’
And so, for that change I’m obsessed with non-symmetry, randomness, and uncertainties. They’re interesting, they develop and feel alive.  I hate stability.
Stability:
‘ For how long should I keep doing something I hate in order to stop it?  for how long should I admit that I love you in order to accept me?
The vacuum in my heart started closing.
Nothingness  is cold, and it started to concur and make nothing of the love around me.
I’m changing myself only. 
  You’re a person I like to be near, and give you every love I had stored.

If I couldn’t get any of that, then I would do nothing.  I will give up trying. You know all we can do is observe and predict.  I wish I can understand….. I might cry trying to,   still looking desperately to know why my heart’s void won’t fill.  looking for  what is supposed to be ‘reason’:  what is supposed to ‘mean something’ for one, and ’cause’ the other to love… :”(

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