where we write it

everyday’s hard life

gotta work, cant have fun,  do things you hate,   cant sleep, joy is over,  no purpose,  pressure, anxiety, loneliness, endless worry and exhaustion.

remember, some years ago, you were with your mom on phone, or your mom called you, and it was just a question of her “how’re you doing” …   long story short,  you said few words, then started to cry, saying I cant take this sh*t, a lot of pressure you hate and so….

some time after that year,  I remembered that call and thought it was stupid of me to freak out my mom that way, that  i was a pussy for not taking pressure and crying of loneliness or whatever…

but now,  i see that as everyday’s life.     the words are above,

read them again if you want, they’re still.. .  when can I do something i like?  when can I enjoy life?   is that a myth and life is just sh*t. what it supposed to be  if it were, then why live it..    cant even find comfort in death with the idea that i may burn in nasty hell forever.

when im full, i say i wont eat.

when im sober, i say i wont sleep.

when im empty, i say wont give in pleasure.

when time is easy, i do nothing with it.

when time is hard,  i wish it were easy.

when alone, wish i were with someone.

when with someone,  wish i were with someone else.

not a hypocrite, but there’s

void *** in me, that i throw anything trying to fill it.


Delete Entry

pills and syr. cant sleep. wake every 2 hrs … wtf. this ambien sh*t doens’t work
12.Sep 2011 | 9:54am | im poppin | jsdfljsdlkj@Mail.com
i dont know what the fk im doing in this life. waiting for what.. just living bad, low and failing…. i cant think about it without cracking. wow,, anxiety, and pressure of losing everything.. i hate it… feels beaten, despreate, and wants to cry. when you wish if your life ends.. sick of being uninterested. dont let me talk,, cuz it’s stupid sh*t all im saying. sick of this. time is moving and im not ready to go anywhere.
15.Sep 2011 | 3:49pm | i dont know what th | thatsallforit@mail.com
when you’re lost and get to recieve no help, no direcitons, … everyone gets sick of being selfish.
22.Sep 2011 | 3:10pm | f**k anxiety, and stress | jlskdjflsjd@mail.com
to state it plainly: you live for others, an ugly exhuasting life when others don’t care, don’t benifit, don’t ask whether you died or lived.. like im living for myself. so why live it; why even put a complain to the world like this; just shut it down. lost .. lost .. lost
26.Sep 2011 | 5:43pm | live for what | fsdjoj@mail.com

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