sorry for living
sorry for being lonely
sorry for being bipolar
sorry for being sad
sorry for being depressed
sorry for being not special
sorry for being me
I , wanna die
I , wanna die
I am trapped
I dont know how to love life
hide, yes anywhere I wanna hide
I’ve been on earth really long time, never had a mate or a close friend.
Repeating words I never felt, then asking for less;
I want to feel love, acceptance, try a company or a kiss..
an exchange of stares of being desired …
too lonely, sober, bored in a dead prison defining depression .
what’s happening to me is inhuman; isolated and to insanity driven.
how to pop more meds than I already did, more mind tricks to my mirror
how to keep smiling, at no one ever
how to go to sleep, crying the night, and wake up older.
how can I keep going to work,
how to be good at a sport
how to look pretty or stay in shape, my youth and best potential went unheard of
how to keep hugging myself
how to keep taking videos and pictures of my memories and wait them become sadder
how to keep hope, when everything is becoming harder.
how to write something in this blog, those f**king views are all mine
how to keep feeling, I’m dying inside by the second
how to keep lying to myself, it gets better my ass
how to not start to hate,
how to keep this gun off my head,
how to keep living either for myself, or as a liar
help me, distract me, shut my mind, or shoot me,
love me… please… Im sorry for living