Background Waves of Death
Hours flipping in bed with insomnia
No one asking for days,
No one cares
Does it get any lonelier
Because I’m numb to it
Beyond sad I’m sick of this.
Instead of suicide notes
I screamed and fought.
complaining about how lonely it gets
with the exact same words I used before
Disgusting Dejavus.. life is scary
I think I’m just distracting myself to let time pass by.
The purpose of life is not to wait the clock tick for us to do our job, is it?
Another day to waste alone
with status anxiety and constant uncertain tomorrows
Pretty models must be awful to live with. you know
give me a scenario and I can show you how
Okay the b*tch is paid to love her look and act narcissistic.
Do you know how hard it was for her to love someone else!!?
The fittest genes survive natural selection in animals.
With humans, it’s great thoughts that thrive and get passed by,
not genes, but rather generations and generations.
I want to live on the frontier of life, instead of watching it collapsing inward.
It’s very smart to do, not to waste life.
With disappointing promises, and empty runs.
When you get what you want,
will you want what you get?
If you always go top speed,
would you know where to go?
Between you and me,
isn’t everything great you know, great enough?
just a little more to motivate you
to want, worry, and spend your money on what you wanted?
when can I replace my misery
with joy from every bit of consciousness,
in every step all the way fading out of it
You said everything would be alright now
When is everything alright now?
I surrendered, supposedly, to what you handed me.
A sea of disappointing emotions followed by blocked memories.
I did not feel loved, I don’t think I was liked.
Nah, I did not feel loved. Business. No emotions;
My heart handled business, and my brain burned serotonin
I don’t think my inner voice trusts that I trust it anymore.
… I cannot be noticed
Yet living with the highest tax rates
A middle aged male
In the middle of nowhere
In a lonely spacetime
Worried about my stairs to heaven