where we write it

Mariana Trench

Can you be my counselor tonight?

 I want to tell you something now that I may not tell you at any other time.


I can’t stand up anymore.

Watch me throw myself on the ground

 A lesser human

Arrogant and useless

Obnoxious and repulsive

I’ve always been lonely so leave me alone now.

So freaking ugly don’t take my photo man.

 Asking about how I’m doing as if you care

…. I cant wait to die

 

Those voices I couldn’t keep to myself,

Simply mean nothing to everyone else.

Thus no one cares about mental illness.

 

Literally…

Just in mind experienced:

  “Go kill yourself! Shortcut the BS.”

Im just so fkin tired

Dancing around with the wrong frequency

Asking for people to hold my hand and walk me through

Let me know when I’m going to fall

I’m tired but then  again, time is not going to stop now

So I’m trying to laugh to distract myself until I’m tired again

I laugh so loud so that I don’t get to hear my problems.

Moving around because I have to.

Sick of seeing only ugly memories pop
Sick of people who worsen my depression

Lists of responsibilities, that’s not my life

It’s been like I’m in a minus living.

Am I allowed to ask for help

I just want to tell someone I’m feeling sad,

pray for my depression cycle to be reversed,

and sunlight to be washing a pretty shore instead

 

Ideas to think, but forget their meaning the moment I start writing them down.

Dreams to enjoy, but forget them the moment I live them again.

A lot of times, it’s this you, just like now you became mortal because I described you.

.

Don’t close the door…!!!

 

I really wanna tell someone I’m so lonely,

but not you because I don’t know how you feel

One minute ago you didn’t want to know

I hate everyone. I’m awful negative now

The counselor was a dumb actor.

f#@k it hurt my stomach talking to him!

not sincere at all. !!

.

My dear bipolar opposite,

How would you help me

When I leave nothing

I’m sorry, but no time for that 

I need to breath and you don’t exist

I’m here. It is not where I wanted,

Off course it’s worse than where I could’ve been,

But it is better than all those effing places you see.!!

.

With a lot of chokes and cries

Beaten up emotionally this time

Breathing in silence again

Isolation and sadness I gain

Distract me.. impolitely asking.

Hope they go away

Whatever blocks their pain.

I’m sick of being single.

I can’t be blend in;   neither explain

wistful smiles and wrinkled tuxedos.

memories and love of no one.

plans and thoughts of nowhere.

All suck proportionally with time.

I wish so freaking honestly someone cares about my emotions.

living to reason why there cannot be one. depression

That never made sense to me.  ever.

Because I hate everyone, but I hate myself more .

I don’t know whose idea it was

To vent writing because this isn’t working out.

I started to hate love because love’s absence is no mercy.

It never stayed; just waves ripping through my heart.

Time is usually infinite, but in your company

Infinite is breakable into pieces, and I can’t break down.

Every positive vibration counts.

Pretend  to understand. It is very relieving.

 

Just now.. it’s so pretty;  I don’t want to go further…

disconnect me .  by your hands.  I want no other

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