where we write it

Right hemisphere

Don’t fall in love

I prayed to God

That you didn’t fall in love

because now

I’m crying to sleep…

Writing you a poetry ,

that you’ll never read (more…)

How badly I want love


Ever since I was a kid I wanted to love, I wanted to love

Now I don’t like my voice, I grew old , lonely and old

Worn out but still I wanna love, I wanna love.. no

Can’t listen to my inner thoughts. They just hurt, they’re cold

I’ve written my book. One day we will live no more

If I don’t need, I wont want, no I don’t want

In other words, no one cares, they all know

Many in a world, fewer who share

An author who’s gone

With untold incommunicable pain

Indigestible depression, sadness for lunch and dinner

Life passing by, like torture

happiness… we may never meet in life












Lucid Nightmare



Time spawning… Forever lasting…

Something… Something

Forward acting… Into a universe

Clumping matter with balanced energies

Something… Something…

Life started temporarily

Something… Something… Something

This amazing brain is thinking, and consciousness lived to wonder

Born pushing life’s short end

I’m sorry that you’re alive but glad it’s temporary,

So we don’t have to work forever

I knew it just happens so it’s not helpful to wonder how it ends

I have nothing to say

You have nothing to do

That seems to be the worst part of being alive


Dying When Our Jobs Are Done


I’m going crazy, would it matter if I told you?
A world of misery, will anything change if I tell you?

Wide awake until I sleep tonight
So alive until I die this life

Emotions all over the place
Brain is shellshocked

Meaning that I play this game 
Passing time pretending to live

Hoping that it goes by in peace
Traveling the least path of pain

Closer to death letting entropy increase

Talking myself  out how awful it feels

It’s Dejav… damn not again…



Existence’s Best Thing; Love



It’s my saddest time of the year

Just before all my birthdays turn out lonely

In the middle of a paloroid existence

Jumping in and out of so many colors

I’m heartbroken and  you’re too pretty

I can’t fall in love with you

Stop being nice

I can’t believe you kissed me

Then left me with empty emotions

My everyday feels like yesterday

Now has even begun to feel like tomorrow

That goes on forever that goes on forever

Life is fast; happy or sad it wont last

 I’m used to misery

My white world is grey

Silence after every spoken word

Meaning what was said doesn’t matter

Colorous  momentarily…

Some day, someone will care

Because I don’t think it was a dream but unreal….

That’s just unfair

I keep a lot of things to myself

I wish I don’t forget these….

How can I forget existence’s best thing


Mariana Trench

Can you be my counselor tonight?

 I want to tell you something now that I may not tell you at any other time.

I can’t stand up anymore.

Watch me throw myself on the ground

 A lesser human

Arrogant and useless

Obnoxious and repulsive

I’ve always been lonely so leave me alone now.

So freaking ugly don’t take my photo man.

 Asking about how I’m doing as if you care

…. I cant wait to die


Those voices I couldn’t keep to myself,

simply mean nothing to everyone else.

Thus no one cares about mental illness.



Just in mind experienced:

  “Go kill yourself! Shortcut the BS.”


Background Waves of Death


Hours flipping in bed with insomnia

No one asking for days, 

No one cares

Does it get any lonelier

Because I’m numb to it

Beyond sad I’m sick of this.

Instead of suicide notes

I screamed and fought.

complaining about how lonely it gets

with the exact same words I used before

Disgusting Dejavus.. life is scary

I think I’m just distracting myself to let time pass by.

The purpose of life is not to wait the clock tick for us to do our job, is it?

Another day to waste alone


Awkward and Shy


I  see you when I close my eyes.

messed up right?

an in-and-out-of-love girl

So it happens often

I can’t keep a thing to myself

my heart is used to it.


Don’t look at me while you do it

… I like being ignored


and I still see you when I close my eyes,
even taste you in my dreams

All my clothes smell like you

I found your hair in my notebook the other day

We walked together everywhere

Now I feel half of my body missing



You’re busy, people around you all the time

right, I should have some dignity.

I read this line every time and say you deserved it

freaking alone.. freaking alone wanted to try a new thing

Thought you were ready; but  where did it go wrong.

I swear those freaking moments I spent with you were the funnest ever.


Say Three Words



I thought you were the cutest thing ever

But so did many others


You were one of those

False alarms

It’s one big climb

 Should you back out

I’m just dead inside pretending hard

Years in repair for my best act

The Three Words I never heard

So I made the biggest stage,

and of myself the biggest fool






Im not stopping now

I can’t stop right now

Every moment with you is my best of all time

Im living an eternal paradise

So Im running into the sun

Pushing everyone around

With love burning down

So fast to stay alive

I will run faster tonight

Then heal back in your arms

When you say everything is fine