where we write it


minus infinity moment – statemnets of my religion


– Everything needs frequency & energy to be done, even the universe itself was figured to be made that way.

– What Science could explain is what happens if both of those existed for a moment.  However, you cannot really answer what medium could or why would have that energy follow to be something instead of nothing with time unless you introduced random possibilities with null being one of them if existed on curtain working conditions as well (the balance of the four forces in physics).

It’s equivalent to saying there was nothing but everything can occur just as likely as nothing so boomshakalaka, excuse me I mean, Big Bang.

We always thought energy is conserved.  There must have been E0 = E1,  as E0: initial that was there,  and E1: transformed form from E0 to make the universe.   If time is the allowance of interaction of all particles, then you may assume what we think is time must have been there since the  ‘minus infinity moment’  and it has still not ran out till this day, unless your conscious world has stop, it’s still going for each of us respectively.  In return, it’s allowing the energy to still have those forms making the universe we experience now. Read the rest of this page »


update nothing new

3-29-2010:- my ankle is still broken since march 5- I feel empty and have all work to do- I want to cry- I don’t want thte time to move-  cold and lonely,  lost and empty, just ready to go to hell- Read the rest of this page »

My Empty Corner


“Hey there, what are you enjoying … ?”

Ah,  me?  always in the corner,  it’s just …

when I go back to reality, I can only be what I’m set to be; produce and function the way society wants.

Dreams hit a ceiling and reality sinks in.

Myself has nowhere to go and no where to show.

Back to reality, who cares where I fit?  who is there to see me .. and why?

Back to reality, what’s worth crying for? what’s worth living for?
Read the rest of this page »

u know








u know how it feels

when you’re crappy sad as hell, but don’t know how to express it to others. I’m not an artist, and english is not my language. I hate every letter, because after I use it, I know it didn’t tell what I want to say. I wish you listen to me weeping.. that will say it better. Read the rest of this page »

romance no more


If I would only be hugged,  I’d start crying on your shoulder in no time. 

It just doesn’t seem there is “you” who gives free hugs, but there’s “me” who need ones.

I just think life is better with you.  I meant the “you” who cant exist. Read the rest of this page »

update april-2010


– my ankle is still broken since march 5

– I feel empty and have all work to do Read the rest of this page »

H U G E IJ !

   IJ  dreaming when you wake up like HAAAAAAALLELUJAH  !!   <3 <3  <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3    wooooooooh !!

Thanks satan,  and everyone who put efforts to make this happen…

 I dont know what I could’ve done without you guys

Read the rest of this page »

when you get old

no matter how strong your emotions were,

no matter much love you held,

you know it has no physical reality;

you know it will all fade away. Read the rest of this page »

thought about dropping college

similar analysis .. but in conclusion:  I had this assumption that I can find a (fine) job without college degree.  <– possible?   Read the rest of this page »

happy and busy, let me update this thing

let me update this thing why should it all be sad stuff. it’s my news, and I just been to the health center, :D damn . .. ok since no one is reading this blog, say it all here:  ان اذني الحاكم كأذني حماااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااار  !!  Read the rest of this page »