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what’s going on

I really don’t know what’s ganna happen.will i make it?  I need to Read the rest of this page »

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dream that I’m dreaming + another weird dream

I’ve been awake since 4 hrs, so I barely remember the main theme of the dream:

l***a my sis & mom in my apt (here in br).  l***a was helping me doing school work or something, then when I ask her Read the rest of this page »

am i honest + thing to god (rant)

I’ve always thought – almost a reasonable fact: that I don’t write my best blogs when I’m in public or busy.  I will be too sad or distracted to express the best way.I’ve written many things on paper recently & forgot to update this blog thing.I’m killing myself the slow way. Read the rest of this page »

let’s look at women until we’re sick of them

I feel invisible…. you know the feeling; people in the room,  but we can’t connect. 

 looks and faces don’t matter anymore.   happiness is hard to obtain.  like if happiness is something you can’t pass to others. 
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how come we just don’t know

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sometimes it feels disgusting to me how humans still don’t know how they ended up here.

it’s almost like if we came to term with the fact we don’t know and that’s fine.

More so,  we made philosophic riddles that ensure it’s impossible to obtain the knowledge of our existence.

Is it me, or is it really what supposed to be the most important thing we’re here for?

Knowing what this universe was and what nature is that kept us alive, for us to name it “the big question” and live distracting ourselves.

Read the rest of this page »

Judgin Morality

– What’s fair & equal?

Who is getting hurt, and who is getting relieved .   where are you subtracting, and where are you adding? Read the rest of this page »

Rant: what I wanna do

Why can’t people be simple, clear, direct, productive, strait, … why do you have to explain yourself in 10 hrs of speaking?  almost think 2 mins max give the main idea of any formed by human’s brain.  Read the rest of this page »

sh*t life (rant)

what the f–k am i waiting of my life?

let’s roll the dice and find

it’ doesn’t matter who throws, the same number will show

who cares..?  and what  matters?

A wall between me and others.

They can’t see me for who I am and I can’t reach them,

If I wasn’t being myself, then I can’t see people for who they are.

You’re telling me to change, I’m telling you difference shouldn’t be a problem.

angry about the unknown.  very stressful

alone and void.  dunno what I want to fill myself with. 

we’re kids just like other kids

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Facing Sad Reality

now that I’m calm, out of emotions, empty with no drop of anger or melancholy :  I came across this observation that it will be top ignorance and stupidity if I didn’t address it right.   A theory providing a model that fits and explains all the phenomenons and behaviors with the correct reasons. Read the rest of this page »

I don’t feel like writing but

very low self esteem lately.  not confidence and questioning everything.   all assumptions, all possibilities… like to consider the harmful ones, too.

why do i think i’m an interesting person in first place? i hate the f**kin Read the rest of this page »