where we write it


what are emotions


is it up to you to live or not?

I don’t think so;  it wasn’t up to you when you were born male or female;  it wasn’t up to you to grow up in the best land of the world or in the poorest of third world countries.  it was not up to you to grow up surrounded by love or hate,  care or confusion, ease or struggle.

to live means attend the events and interact with them with thoughts, you live your emotions, you live your understanding and awareness.   You were left to handle your conscious by surviving and doing whatever activity you feel like. If reality asked you why, you will not have a real purpose.  you might think you do; you might think you the one who composed yourself the way you are, but in reality you were accounted for nothing compared to what you were not accounted for.  genes, fate, possibilities, luck, actions, environment… so

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why the f–k are you crying?

i dont know.

not lonley, but too hopeless and much work to do to live

i can’t help it but to think about all the sh-t i gotta do to live

thinking about a sh-t life.  what else to do just to f–king live

thinking about others.  what else to do to let them live

“i hate myself, and i hate my coincidences”

i hate my failure to succeed… i hate how i became just another sh-t in life

wtf  is that

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Be an Illusion

‘I wanna be an illusion, I’m sure I’ll be feeling alright, …  just to be an illusion.


every1 wants,. 2be .. be.. be,

it happens by itself.

I’m on the edge of  that hole.

If I let myself go, I fall

I’ll be there; I want nothing else.

dying while asleep, wont feel it, won’t know it’s coming… 

realization is the pain… don’t you want to forget.?

falling asleep is the best part.  could my soul vanish as I type this . word….

didn’t happen,  I wont know it if it happened.  fair

  why started it, and I mean the existence, if you weren’t aware .


Am I the only one this way,…

Wrinkled eye brows, tension in face, shaken hands, serious, awake, lost  and stressed. Read the rest of this page »

Big Dreams Stuck in My Small Head


Big dreams, like if dreaming was easy

small dos, no capability.

Big dreams, using a subjective description…. “Big.”   let’s make what I got…. “Big” and live it.Big dreams, no brain could take it, no body could make ’em true.

Big dreams, no place to dream further. Read the rest of this page »



Get me out of my skin, and

Protect me from everything that feels.

I’m falling from the outside within.

Can you now just be near?


Stop killing me everyday;

I revive myself from sleeps,

crossing yellow brick roads,

or on the sideway counting tears.


Take me off this down,

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my beloved rain

my beloved rain,

Im sorry,  how cynical people are!!

Come to me in your rage, I won’t be scared.

I know how you feel,  I wont get away.

I learned to hug you,  because, I’m like you

no one me likes me when I’m falling, too. 

they all use you when you’re clear though.

let out all your tears on me,   I will love you.

happy for no reason

I could be happy for no reason, and would like to write about it

with a small glass of wine, I threw my thoughts away from this mind of mine

how could the world be happy all of sudden?

I knew this life is relative from your view point. worse than that, if it is imaginary.  I’m freaking touching my dreams and I’m ordinary.

I probably realized, you don’t have to be recognized to make a wish come true.  fame and money are not what we all seek and do.   Read the rest of this page »


Did I stay out of character for too long?

Escaping to food, and pleasuring myself..

Something is too far fetch..  like the dreams I wasn’t meant to get.

Wishing I died earlier. It’s not getting better; worse only, and more unjust.

I’m sick of language. I said it earlier… willing to give up my speaking ability.

How did you mean everything to me?

When you left, I looked everywhere inside.  Just empty..

Lost, I needed somebody to pick me,

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Blind Colors



Your eyes are blue,

These roses are red, right?

Gray  sky.  but not cloudy.

My tress are wrong. my roses are red, right?

I can’t sleep, this pillow is not for sleep.

My Summer is ugly.   it’s supposed to be shining.

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I fell in love with a stripper

picsource:  acidemic.blogspot.com/2010/12/die-like-champ-enter-void.html


and I don’t know what’s true or not.  All I do is go and cry.

I wish she had a place in her heart, for her heart to love and start

some good from evil.  She’d let no hopes drip or leak.

A mermaid who learned to speak. I wanted some, if not, I will steal

a dream of hers when she’s asleep.  you know,  from this or  these.


her mesh gets the spot.  all wounds will be flushing, fighting for her heart.

no healing.  all veins will be reeling,  between quotation marks :

“She’s beyond description”,  like a piece of art.

An Exotic Noemi.  Softy.. Pixie..

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