is it up to you to live or not?
I don’t think so; it wasn’t up to you when you were born male or female; it wasn’t up to you to grow up in the best land of the world or in the poorest of third world countries. it was not up to you to grow up surrounded by love or hate, care or confusion, ease or struggle.
to live means attend the events and interact with them with thoughts, you live your emotions, you live your understanding and awareness. You were left to handle your conscious by surviving and doing whatever activity you feel like. If reality asked you why, you will not have a real purpose. you might think you do; you might think you the one who composed yourself the way you are, but in reality you were accounted for nothing compared to what you were not accounted for. genes, fate, possibilities, luck, actions, environment… so